She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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