idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm passing your future prison.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
