Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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