I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
