some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
