I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Terrible idea I love it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
