I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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