Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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