that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
