Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
