just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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