I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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