took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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