youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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