i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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