3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
