This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
