Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
