Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I currently don't understand fingers.
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