Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
