Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
