Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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