I'm laying in your front yard are you home
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
There are leaves in my underwear?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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