so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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