Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
