Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
