Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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