using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
