You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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