lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
