wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
third nipple confirmed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
