no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
