Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
