Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
