I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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