You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
