she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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