i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
