I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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