she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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