I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My ass is underappreciated
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
