i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
