Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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