Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
