If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
