Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
