I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
