she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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