We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
