K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
