So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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