oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
