you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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